Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Perfection can not be rushed.

So many things have been happening in the world of Nevy. Let's take an inside look.

I don't know about you but one thing I tend to slide into happily is new tasks. I like taking on everything in SL thinking that I have all the time in the world and it won't take me long to complete something. Nine out of ten times this is so not true. I find myself burried in a mound of work and somehow find the time that's needed to be there for my family and friends. What is up with that?

Lately, I've been feeling this extra surge of super sensitivity. I have no idea where it came from, it just crawled out of the depths of my soul...I suppose. Everything has been getting to me in some fashion. Things that normally wouldn't annoy me are just plain making me crazy. People don't usually get to me, but lately anything that's said to me is taken to heart. Ugh! My poor daughter, Keirsten, has this fixed thought that I'm upset with her in some way. I feel so horrible for making her think this, when it's absolutely not true. I figured it out... you see she has been our daughter for six months now and I am so completely comfy with her now that when my mood flops, I don't mind sharing that openly with her even if it means just not being myself around her. She's gone for the week her best friend went to CA to see her and visit. I can't wait until she returns to SL, I miss her terribly and we need mommy/daughter time.

The store is driving me nuts. I think it's just cause we are trying to get everything in it's place and settled. The sim we are on has a lot of great stores but it's not where I want to be. It doesn't "fit" us and it's a tad too small for what we are going for. My husband is building a store for us which is turning out wonderfully. He's come to realize he enjoys building. : ) I need to work on getting some more clothing created and finished. I hate those hours when I feel so utterly lazy. Ew. >.<>
I had class yesterday and it started out wonderfully and then things went down hill. I think it was one of those days where everyone may have been a little "off", I know I was. I had kids talking about sperm and how babies are made from beer and pizza, I had kids spitting out curse words like a sailor, and some that made me feel like they just didn't care. My first thought was, "If this was RL I could handle this situation with ease..." I felt like things had lost control. I don't know what I expect or what I was expecting. I mean every avie has a grown adult behind them deciding how they want to RP their character. I can't control that nor do I want to. I realized what got to me towards the end of class. It was knowing that I work so hard to do this for them. I don't get paid for it, I don't have to do it... I put a lot of time into what I am doing for them to make it feel like a real classroom, the organization, the consistency, being stable, fun, and an open opportunity for RPing specifically. I began to cry, but it wasn't because of one person in particular or anything that was done to me purposefully. It was a pile of things from SL and RL mixed and it just got to me at that moment. I do apologize to my students for having to end class a little earlier and not being able to control the tears. This isn't drama it's just life, whatever realm.

Needless to say I just needed time alone with my husband, his TLC always mends my torn heart or teary soul. His touch and words are healing.

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